I wept when I read this, fellow travellers. Dolphins are being trained for possible missions against Iraq. They want to make the joyous, life-affirming marine mammal fight in a war against the joyous, life-affirming Saddam. Not content to destroy both, they want to turn each against the other.

It's unbelievably cruel fellow travellers. Unbelievably cruel. (And also really stupid. I mean, Iraq is land-locked, right? So what use are the dolphins going to be just flailing about on the sand? Typical Dubya. Like his dad and Reagan, the guy's a real imbecile.)

Study links ethnicity to cervical cancer. Why? Because scientists are mostly white males, that's why. And "objectivity" and "rationalism" are merely tools of racist and sexist oppression.

What these appalling white men in white coats are doing is, like, creating and reinforcing a whole paradigm in which we just expect ethnic women to get "the big C". And this paradigm creates language, and language creates reality. Hence a disease that simply never occurred before the Industrial Revolution is now afflicting our tinted sisters in plague proportions.

Where's my evidence for this claim? Well, have you ever heard of a white male having cervical cancer?

I rest my case.

If people still have any doubt about the pervasiveness of phallocentrism in the West, then have a look at this site for "bellicose women".

Can you believe it? Bellicose women! That's a complete contradiction in terms. We all know it's only testosteroids who are bellicose (except reconstructed ones like me). So, they're not really bellicose. They're just obeying orders from their peenie-waving Nazi men-folk, that's all.

When will American women ever be given credit for their opinions and be free to express them openly (like in Pakistan, for instance)?

Fellow travellers, you may recall a recent post of mine (look below:14th November) about how African beetles -- angered by Little Johnny Howard's arselicking war on "terror" -- are attacking Australian bees.

Well, it seems to be happening again. Only this time, it's occurring a little higher up on the food chain (and I don't mean that in a speciesist and heirarchical sense). Apparently a captive cheetah has attacked and killed several kangaroos. Not hyraxes, not impalas, but kangaroos. Clearly a political statement if ever there was one. Yet does anyone -- besides myself, and my trusty feminist cat Jocelyn -- notice this cry from the heart, let alone care?

I mean, like, endangered felines have more of an awareness of the root causes of "terrorism" than our own government -- and a greater social conscience than our own (human) citizenry! Can you believe it!

What's going on, fellow travellers? Has this entire nation gone completely mad?

Like my photos, fellow travellers? I just posted them!

Notice how one is really joyous and life-affirming. And the other is, like really pensive and serious. For people who don't know anything about spirituality -- particularly all you peenie-waving, women-oppressing Christians out there -- that's to, like, balance the yin and yang chakras that are contained in the whole Buddhist/Hindu/Muslim/Scientologist paradigm and thereby facilitate the creation of oodles of love and harmony.

And you know what? On that day I smelled fantastic too. I'd just had a three hour aromatherapy session and I was fragrant as a red, red, rose!

Oh joy! Joy and cat-dancing! The sun shines from my third eye!

I must inform you that Matt Hayden has just posted three of the most appalling, vitriolic and inappropriate outbursts it has ever been my misfortune to read, fellow travellers.

As the headline states: Now there's computer dating for pandas.

Two things; one good, one bad. First: It's long overdue, and a welcome sign that at least one kind of speciesism is finally being tackled. Second: it's still not good enough, because there's no similar service for felines yet. Jocelyn is very angry about it, fellow travellers. And to be quite frank so am I!