Thursday, December 26, 2002

Okay, so most scientists are appalling right-wing peenie-wavers (see last post) but occasionally their "knowledge" can be used for a truly empowering cause -- cloning, for example.

This article reports that the Raelian cult has created the first cloned human baby. This is truly joyous news! It will mean that I will be able to duplicate my uniquely compassionate, spiritual, loving and progressive presence many thousands of time over.

Just think, a whole army of peace-loving little Dereks! Won't that be a wonderful gift to the world? I'm going to call these Raelians and offer some of my superior DNA ASAP!

Those peenie-waving scientists are up to their usual racist tricks, fellow travellers. This time they are trying to blame the increasing expansion of the universe on racial minorities. How? By naming the mysterious, "repulsive" force that pushes planets apart "dark energy".

Monday, December 23, 2002

More appalling racism in the media, fellow travellers. Whenever I turn on the radio I hear the song "White Christmas". White, as in Aryan. Aryan as in fascist. Fascist, as in John Howard.

And you know who wrote it? Irving Berlin. Berlin, as in Germany. Germany, as in Third Reich. Third Reich as in the Liberal Party's Third Term. I'll bet our PM the Master of Evil and his sinister henchman Phillip Ruddock will be humming along to that little ditty as they roast Afghan babies on their communal KKK fire tomorrow!

Appalling. Just appalling.

So, how will I make a stand against this pervasively Anglo-centric lyrical hegemony, fellow travellers? Well, my trusty feminist cat Jocelyn and I will be singing a re-written version of an old classic: "Santa Claus is Black in Town". Also, since Christmas is supposed to be "a time of giving", we are going to subvert that paradigm by only receiving presents, not offering them.